Friday, December 12, 2008

Drawing the Line at the Eggs

Ever since my status on Facebook went from "in a relationship" to "single," the advertising that sits on the fringe of the screen while I'm viewing (read: stalking) former students, people from grad school, and people from high school has changed considerably. Considerably.

Before, the advertisements were all about food--I guess because when you're in a relationship, you're supposed to be two things: happy and hungry. After all, you've got someone. You can let yourself go, so why not sign up for the Pork of the Month Club?

Well, you want to know what kinds of ads I am getting now? Diet ads. Oprah's diet! Supermodel diets! The Hills diet! The Kim Kardashian diet!

Twenty-seven and overweight? the ads ask. Try the all-blueberry cleanse diet!

I'm also getting ads about single men living in the greater Portland area. The men in the ads wear fleece jackets and look rugged. They smile big, toothy, attractive grins that say, Do you want to go down to the Methodist church for a bean supper?

These ads drive me crazy enough, but they aren't anything compared to the one that popped up the other day. Want some extra money? it asked. Sell your eggs!

My. Eggs. The advertising-generator at Facebook is looking at my information--gender, birth date, relationship status, occupation--and it's matching me up with ads for egg donation.

It's all very depressing. And alarming. Sometimes the advertisements feature very poor grammar (Try Tyras diet!) and sometimes the ads aren't even spelled correctly (Sell your eggss!), which, naturally, makes me wonder: just who is putting these ads up there, and what are they doing wanting my eggs if they can't even spell eggs?

It's enough to make a girl want to lie and put her status back to "in a relationship" just so she can go back to seeing whatever of-the-month-club is looking to hawk its wares now.

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