Here's Hoping I'll Be Drinking Malt Liquor on Someone's Porch Real Soon

For the next few days, I will be here:


There's a wedding, a reunion, a plan to get sloppy drunk and tell a certain person how I may have had a massage-oil-filled lesbian sex dream about his wife the other night. If my grandmother knew that, she'd just nod her head and stir her Waldorf salad, thinking, I knew it. I knew it all along.