I'm Stealing His Moves Too

Jesus help me, I love Prince. I love Prince so much I want to curl up in the sock drawer on his tour bus and live there until he finds me. And upon finding me, he'll (of course) ask me to hand him his guitar, and I will, and he'll start grooving and singing about a raspberry beret, which is only one of my favorite songs in the entire world.

I guess it reminds me of grad school, not because it was always blaring from someone's car and not because it was piped in through the halls of MSU or anything like that, but because I was listening to it a whole lot back then. And I was thinking about it today, mostly because tomorrow is the first day of the fall semester--the first day of my third year here (yeah, let THAT blow your mind a little bit)--and the beginning of a new semester calls for some very serious consideration of very serious matters.

Namely this: teacher theme songs.

Of course, this is something I've put a lot of thought into. It's not something I've just started thinking about now, after eight o'clock, as I watch the last hours of my summer vacation go skipping away into the dark. I've been thinking about it for years, and what I've thought is this: it seems only fair to me that teachers should have something--a device, if you will; something Pavlovian in nature--that will make their students sit up, snap to attention, and really listen. I think it's only fair that we get a song that announces our arrival in the classroom.

Lasers and smoke machines could be optional--maybe for tenured faculty only?--but everyone should get to select a song that signals to the class, "Listen, kids. It's time to shape up or ship out. The teacher is in the room."

Raspberry Beret could be my song. I'm convinced of it. Give it a listen.





Upbeat, peppy, sassy. It seems to be all the things I'd like to think my classes are. It would work.

I'd also accept "PYT," if only so I could work some of these moves into my entrance. Others that are possibilities? "Love, Sex, and Magic" by Ciara and Justin (although I'd change the words to be something like "Commas, Tone, and Magic"). "Independence" by The Blue Van (which, consequently, is the theme song for my favorite summer show: Royal Pains). "Circus" by Britney Spears. "Tell Me Something Good" by Chaka Khan. "100 Days, 100 Nights" by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. "You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)" by The White Stripes.

If you ask me, each of those would set a good tone, maybe even the right tone to start this whole new semester off with a bang.