Dad: What are you going to put that cake on?
Me: This board you just cut for me. The penis board.
Dad: No. I mean, what are you going to cover that board with?
Me: Aluminum foil. I used aluminum foil last time.
Dad: Don't use aluminum foil!
Me: Why not?
Dad: Use parchment paper or something, not aluminum foil! Foil is too shiny! Too reflective!
Me: So what? So it'll shine penis back up at the penis. It'll be like a mirror. And it'll make it look bigger. Isn't that what men want anyway?
Dad: You're right. [Pause] We should have foil underwear.
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