Dropping My Ohhhhs As We Speak

There's an episode of The West Wing where there's some sort of prescription drug hubbub going on in the state of Minnesota, and CJ--the Bartlet administration's press secretary--gets wind of it. When she goes to tell Toby--the administration's communications director--about the trouble that's brewing--she begins this way: "Okay," she says, "say you're from Minnesota..."

Toby looks at her and says, "I'm from Minnesohhhtahhh."



That's sort of what I've been up to lately. When I first started mentioning to my students that I was getting on a plane and flying to Minnesota at the end of October, I said Minnesota like a normal person would. Over the last week, though, I've been saying Minnesohhtahhh. Today I even used the word "spendy." I'm preparing for my arrival here:

"Preparing" means dusting off the Minnesota accent I spent three years perfecting. "Preparing" means mixing a CD for Katy, who has been longing to huddle in my arms. "Preparing" means dreaming of all the ways I will cause trouble with my favorite people. "Preparing" means brainstorming what we're going to stick in cupcakes at the after-party for this. "Preparing" also means making sure to pack something that vaguely resembles a Halloween costume because Katy has already informed me that if I come sans costume, I am going to be forced to wear the Hooters waitress outfit from her dress-up bin. And if there's any specific costume I've wanted to avoid my entire life, it's a costume that would, in some way, intrigue my brother, who is a connoisseur of everything Hooters-related. I'd also like very much not to expose my orange-shorted ass in a state where it has already snowed, where it is guaranteed to be freezing.

I'll be there for the next few days. I'll be eating and drinking. I'll be busy being literary. I'll be hording cream cheese won tons and fried mac-n-cheese. I'll be dropping my ohhhs like no one's business. And it will all be beautiful. It will all be perfect.