It's Enough to Make a Girl Want to Whip out a Paper-Chain Countdown

When I was a little girl, I had the luck to land in the classrooms of very crafty teachers--ones that prized order and construction paper more than anything else. That's why I'd made about eight thousand of those paper countdown chains by the time I was ten. And I appreciated those countdown chains. I really did. The sheer aesthetic purity of them--one link per day, a line of multi-colored loops draped across my bedroom--pleased me to no end. In fact, they pleased me so much I'm beginning to think I'm not above purchasing some construction paper and gluing together another one--not for Christmas or Easter or any holiday that involves presents or chocolate, but for a trip. A very big trip. A very big trip to Mexico.

I mentioned a ways back that I woke up one snowy morning and drove myself to the travel agent, and once there I begged her to get me the hell out of the United States, to get me to someplace that had a beach and cabana boys and a hell of a lot of fruity-fizzy-rum drinks. I wanted Bermuda. I wanted a cruise. I got the info and headed home, dreams of giant buffets and open-air movies under the stars knocking around my head. But then one of my traveling companions, in her infinite wisdom (or, more realistically, her trademark Midwestern tightwadedness), decided she didn't want to pay that much money to go on a cruise. She wanted something cheaper. She wanted something more southern than Bermuda. She wanted Mexico. Specifically, an all-inclusive resort in Mexico.

And so we did that instead. We booked at a place that boasts--oh, just get this--liquor dispensers in the rooms. Liquor dispensers! And there's a swim-up bar, too! My God, will I ever be sober?

Here's hoping the answer is no.

So there's still a very real chance that I'll string together one of those fancy paper chains so that I can hang it in my office and every morning clip one of those links away from the rest, each clip a tiny yes! and thank God! and take that!, each one a soothing poultice that melts away all the things that made me crazy the last few months.